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If He Has a Girlfriend Why Does He Need Me? 15 Huge Causes

So you are feeling a reference to a man in your life. 

You two have the very best conversations, there’s apparent chemistry, and also you assume the 2 of you might make an excellent couple.

Then he drops the bombshell: he has a girlfriend.

Your coronary heart sinks, and your goals of being collectively fade away. 

You marvel why he acted so romantically with you if there was no probability of a future.

Figuring out what to do on this state of affairs might be difficult, particularly if he’s nonetheless pursuing you and making strikes.

Fortunately, there are widespread the reason why a man would possibly inform you he has a girlfriend, and these might help you determine the best way to transfer ahead within the relationship.

So let’s dive into the probabilities of why a man would possibly chase you when he’s not single so to make sense of the state of affairs.

Can A Man Like You Even If He Has a Girlfriend?

It’s fairly potential a man can such as you and nonetheless have a girlfriend.

It’s not one thing we normally deal with, particularly in monogamous relationships, however individuals usually have emotions (starting from fleeting to long-lasting) for somebody apart from their accomplice.

There are lots of completely different outcomes of a state of affairs like this:

  • He entertains the concept as a fantasy and lets it go
  • His attraction continues to develop, and he retains it quiet
  • He discusses the state of affairs together with his girlfriend/a therapist/a trusted supply to truthfully work via his emotions
  • He lets you know the way he feels in confidence however doesn’t wish to act on it
  • He needs to pursue one thing with you whereas nonetheless being together with his present girlfriend
  • He leaves his accomplice and continues to pursue you

It may be onerous to foretell the end result of this example. Males are likely to take care of their attraction to a different lady primarily based on their social conditioning and previous patterns.

For instance, if a person has been cheated on prior to now, he might justify hiding his emotions for others from his accomplice as a result of he’s petrified of the identical factor occurring to him once more.

How one can Inform If a Man Likes You When He Has a Girlfriend

There are some widespread indicators when deciphering if an connected man likes you. They aren’t too far off from the indicators we see in a single man, nevertheless it’s necessary to concentrate on the extra context right here.

Listed here are some clues which will counsel he has emotions for you:

  • He acts otherwise round you than different individuals
  • He compliments you usually
  • He goes out of his means that will help you
  • He asks you out on dates
  • He tries to spend time with you when he’s accessible
  • He pays consideration and remembers belongings you inform him
  • His physique language is suggestive of attraction
  • He talks about his relationship with you

These indicators could possibly be purely platonic.

However if you happen to’re noticing many of those indicators directly, then it’s solely potential he has a crush on you.

If He Has a Girlfriend, Why Does He Need Me? 15 Sturdy Causes to Think about

1. There’s an Plain Chemistry

Typically it’s onerous to place a finger on it – we simply really feel like we wish to be round that individual. It could really feel prefer it’s past our management. A person might really feel an irresistible pull to be round you, even when it’s not logical in any respect. 

You’ll discover him standing subsequent to you in social conditions, reaching out frequently, and possibly even gazing at you when he thinks you’re not wanting.

2. He’s Unhappy with His Associate

Simply because he’s in a relationship doesn’t imply it’s assembly his wants or satisfying him.

Whether or not he feels uncared for, unheard, or taken with no consideration, he’s in search of your validation and emotional help. On this means, you’re filling the gaps in his present relationship.

3. He’s Avoiding Dedication

Discovering a accomplice prepared and capable of decide to a relationship totally isn’t any small feat. So it’s not shocking that many males get chilly toes once they begin getting critical in a relationship.

Getting involved in another person helps to deflect from the dedication he’s been avoiding.

He might benefit from the easiness of flirting with you over making onerous selections, corresponding to if he’s going to maneuver in together with his accomplice or cool down with children.

4. He Has Low Confidence and Self-Esteem

If a person has low-self esteem in his relationship, he might search this from others. It could possibly be as a result of his present accomplice doesn’t frequently make him really feel valued or beloved.

However it could additionally don’t have anything to do along with her and will consequence from a deep inner wrestle about his worthiness.

If you happen to discover a man is fishing for compliments and continuously in search of consideration when he’s with you, this can be a major cause for his flirtatious conduct.

5. You’ve Each Shaped a Sturdy Emotional Bond

Perhaps you and this man have gone via one thing collectively, corresponding to attaining a serious life milestone, working intensely on a challenge collectively, and even experiencing a tragedy, such because the lack of a detailed buddy.

Sure experiences can create an intense emotional bond between two individuals, and he might not be capable of assist however really feel drawn to you.

6. There’s A Lot of Bodily Pressure and Attraction

In terms of being the suitable bodily “sort” and having a powerful attraction, we will’t all the time management our emotions.

If you happen to completely match the invoice for what he finds enticing and there’s plenty of bodily chemistry, it may be onerous to withstand.

officemates being touchy with each other if he has a girlfriend why does he want me

You two may additionally have been in conditions that brought about plenty of bodily contact – as an illustration, lengthy hugs, dance nights, and so on. These cases can lead to an intense bodily bond and want for sexual connection.

7. He’s Bored In His Present Relationship

Stability is important in a relationship, however an excessive amount of can result in stagnation and tedium.

If he’s been with the identical individual for some time they usually’ve been caught in the identical patterns, it is sensible why he could also be tempted by somebody new.

If that is so, you’re probably very completely different from his present accomplice. Chances are you’ll do issues that he needs his present girlfriend would. As an alternative of bringing life into his present relationship, he’s exploring it with you.

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8. Communication Is Missing in His Present Relationship

Communication is the muse of a wholesome relationship. If he’s not getting sufficient from his present accomplice, then it is sensible why he could also be drawn to you for dialog and connection. 

Chances are you’ll hear him vent to you about varied relationship points, which exhibits that he doesn’t have the house to work them out together with his girlfriend.

9. He’s Jealous Of His Associate

Perhaps this man’s girlfriend is drawn to different individuals, and he can’t assist however really feel jealous. This might make him really feel insecure or like his relationship is threatened. 

He might flip to you for consideration in order that he can enhance his personal vanity. That is extra about utilizing you to make him really feel higher than being genuinely involved in you.

10. He Does It Simply As a result of He Can

It sounds harsh, however generally an opportunistic man will flirt with you just because he can get away with it. It’s all about pushing boundaries for this man, and it’s a giant energy play for him. 

Morals don’t come into query, and he merely goals to “win” the state of affairs as if it have been a recreation.

When a man tells you he has a girlfriend, doesn’t categorical any regret or emotions of guilt, and nonetheless continues to flirt with you, it is a fairly clear signal that he’s doing it simply to make the most of you and his girlfriend.

11. He’s Not Suitable With His Associate

Even when this man loves his girlfriend, it could be potential that she’s not the suitable match for him.

He is probably not sexually drawn to her, have completely different values than her, or just know in his coronary heart that she’s not the one. Naturally, if this isn’t addressed, his emotions will develop elsewhere.

12. He’s Wanting For a Approach Out

If this man is aware of he needs to depart the connection however isn’t courageous sufficient to do it outright, he might attempt sabotaging it by flirting with you.

In his thoughts, this might be a better technique to finish the connection than simply immediately telling her he’s not completely happy and desires out.

couple wearing workout clothes talking if he has a girlfriend why does he want me

On this case, he doesn’t actually care about getting caught. In reality, he hopes that his girlfriend will discover out in order that he can keep away from having to be the one to interrupt up.

13. There Are Previous Emotions Between The Two Of You

Perhaps you and this man have a historical past. There might have been a crush earlier than, or you could have even dated. If this was the case, he would possibly nonetheless be drawn to you. 

Chances are you’ll remind him of the “good previous days” everytime you hang around, and it seems like strolling down reminiscence lane.

This fantasy of the previous could make it onerous for him to remain dedicated in his present relationship.

14. He’s On the lookout for a Thrill

Doing one thing taboo or illicit might be an thrilling expertise for some. If he’s an “adrenaline junkie,” he’ll prioritize discovering experiences that get his coronary heart racing over logical or moral approaches. 

Each time he’s with you, the truth that he might get caught at any second provides an additional layer of pleasure and thrill.

15. He Doesn’t Have Relationship Boundaries

Some males don’t have a transparent sense of boundaries relating to relationships. If he’s used to getting away with flirting proper in entrance of his girlfriend, then it is sensible that he would proceed this conduct with different ladies as nicely.

He might exhibit narcissist traits, resulting in him solely contemplating his personal wants and disregarding everybody else’s emotions.

Narcissistic conduct might be very damaging, so it’s necessary to create your personal boundaries round individuals like this.

Is It Incorrect to Go Out with Him If He Has a Girlfriend?

“We love one another, however he has a girlfriend,” it’s possible you’ll sob to your pals. It’s straightforward to really feel like a sufferer or somebody with out the ability to make your personal selection if you’re the opposite lady.

However the accountability is as a lot yours as it’s his to make the suitable selections on this state of affairs.

Be certain, and there are professionals and cons relying on the route you’re taking.

Listed here are some factors to think about if you happen to’re fascinated by getting into a relationship with somebody who has a accomplice:

  • You’ll by no means be capable of belief him totally: It could possibly be tough to belief him solely as a result of he was untrue in his present relationship. Broken belief is very prevalent when a man doesn’t inform you he has a girlfriend within the first place.
  • Chances are you’ll damage extra individuals than you assume: If his girlfriend has a baby or depends on him for help, then getting into a relationship with him may cause important ache to individuals you’re not even connected to.
  • It’s potential that he’ll cheat on you: If he’s prepared to cheat on his accomplice, then he might do the identical with you.
  • There’s not a lot probability for a long-term future: How will you plan a life collectively when he hasn’t totally dedicated to leaving his present relationship? It’s onerous to think about a long-lasting future if one among you is holding again.

We have to be sincere with ourselves and our emotions in these difficult conditions. As well as, we have now to think about the emotional affect this example might have on the opposite concerned events.

If we select to pursue somebody with a girlfriend, we’re primarily selecting between two individuals, which might carry a heavy emotional toll for everybody concerned.

What to Do If You Like Every Different, However He Has a Girlfriend

Realizing that you’ve emotions for somebody who’s already taken could be a tough and complicated state of affairs.

Although it could not appear potential, there are methods to navigate this difficult terrain and hold your integrity intact. 

Respect His Relationship

It’s necessary to respect this man’s dedication to his girlfriend. Even when he’s flirting and spending time with you, it doesn’t imply it is best to disregard his relationship.

Acknowledge that they’re in a relationship and chorus from any conduct that might result in its destruction.

Say No To Flirting

As tempting as it could be, don’t interact in flirtatious conduct with him if he has a girlfriend. Flirting will solely complicate the state of affairs and create emotions of guilt and dishonesty.

If he’s flirting with you, politely inform him you aren’t involved in pursuing one thing past friendship.

Don’t Lead Him On

Don’t give him false hope by main him to imagine that one thing may occur between the 2 of you.

This may solely damage his girlfriend and make it more durable for him to remain true to her. Be sincere about your emotions, even whether it is tough or uncomfortable.

Discuss It Out With Him

If in case you have developed emotions for this man, speaking about it with him is necessary to clear the air. Focus on your feelings and the way his relationship impacts you.

This may permit each of you to specific yourselves overtly and truthfully, which might profit you in the long term.

Get Assist

Having emotions for somebody who has a girlfriend might be very complicated. Be sure to talk with individuals you belief and get help out of your family members.

This may assist you keep grounded and make more healthy selections sooner or later. A therapist may also assist you parse out your emotions and information you on the best way to transfer ahead.

Create Wholesome Boundaries

Creating wholesome boundaries with this man is important to guard your self and his relationship. Be sure that your interactions with him revolve round friendship and nothing extra.

If you happen to do wish to transfer ahead with him, set a boundary that you may’t do till he’s communicated it together with his present girlfriend and is actively leaving that relationship.

If he’s unwilling to do that, use boundaries to interrupt off any non-platonic conduct or shut down contact altogether.

Setting limits will assist be certain that the state of affairs doesn’t get out of hand and that you just respect everybody concerned as a lot as potential.

Remaining Ideas

It’s not straightforward to navigate a state of affairs if you like somebody who has a girlfriend. However by higher understanding why he’s performing this fashion, you may determine essentially the most compassionate method for all events concerned. 

With honesty and respect, you may really feel empowered to create wholesome boundaries and guarantee nobody will get damage.

Is someone taken on you? Then you might've asked yourself, "if he has a girlfriend, why does he want me?" Read this to find out the answer.


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